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If you can discuss your differences without becoming defensive or sarcastic, and you can listen to each other and work together toward a solution, your relationship has an excellent chance. He accepts who you are. You and your date are unique, special and individual and need to be able to understand each other and accept that you'll perceive things very differently. Even when you and your date see things differently, you should be able to agree to disagree.

Remember, the security and comfort in your relationship will come from where you and your partner are similar, and the excitement and growth in the relationship are generated from your differences.

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Different interests, opinions, attitudes and ideas will keep things fresh and alive between you. If your date does not become defensive or threatened by your differences, you can be interesting to each other for a long time. The whole point of dating, as we said before, is to get to know each other. While you both may want to take a little time before disclosing too much, your date should be comfortable talking about him or herself, and it should not be like pulling teeth to find out what you need to know.

He has a life with a job, friends, family relationships and interests. A date who has a full, interesting life you would want to be a part of is more likely to be a healthy, balanced person. He seeks out knowledge.


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Your date doesn't need to be a member of Mensa or a mathematical genius, but look for enough intelligence that you can respect and admire each other. There are several kinds of intelligence, from school learning to independent education by reading, working, traveling and life experiences. An airhead who looks good and may be fun to play with will not keep you interested for long.

A date who is not interested in learning and growing intellectually may not be able to keep up over the long haul. His modesty, humility and ego are balanced. As you learn about this new person you're dating, observe his or her character and personality for signs of a balanced sense of self. If your date can keep success and failure in perspective, admit personal shortcomings, and rise above disappointments and losses, he or she does have a balanced personality and the kind of resilience that can travel through life's highs and lows and keep it all in perspective.

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He is emotionally mature. While it's fun and charming to be able to be childlike when in a playful mood, it's essential to be an adult whenever necessary. A date who is responsible, self-regulating, emotionally responsive, motivated, and in control of his or her impulses is capable of being a supportive, fully participating partner -- no matter what joys and sorrows, successes and failures you may face in the course of a lifetime.

He has a healthy history of relationships. Of course, if both of you are dating again, your relationship history will probably not be perfect.

11 Signs You're With The Person You Should Marry | HuffPost Life

What counts is whether your date has learned from the problems, confronted his or her own weaknesses and shortcomings and grown as a result of the setbacks. If your date is willing to talk openly about his or her past relationships and can explain what went wrong and how he or she is learning to correct the problems, the difficulties in past relationships can be an asset rather than a liability. If your date expresses a willingness to seek counseling in the event that problems should occur, score that in his or her favor.

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Remember, a smart date will be watching for the same characteristics in you. To do well in a relationship, learn to be the partner you would like to be. This article originally appeared on YourTango. More great content from YourTango: We were in your dreams.

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