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You also know the other person so well, after all.

Dear Straight Up! My Best Friends are Dating and I Feel Like a Third Wheel

Let them rant about the other person without judgement, as they are in a different relationship with your friend than you are. You are not in a place to make decisions for them. After you listen, remain neutral. It may be tempting to secretly or not so secretly side with one friend due to being friends longer, ovaries before brovaries, etc. Unless one party has done something particularly horrible or abusive, be Switzerland.


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Wave your white flag and stay out of the fight. Set up some ground rules. If you do the above and one or both of the parties keep asking you for insider advice, to yell at the person for them, or perform any other middle man duties be firm and say no. Tell them your job is not relationship referee. Remind each person that you were friends with them individually before they became a couple and no matter how their relationship ends, whether in flames or in wedding bells, you would like it to stay that way. You start looking for potential dates or boyfriends so that all four of you can hang out together, without either of you feeling awkward.

When all else fails, you get back to your old ways and try to be supportive and bearing with their PDAs. Oil massage for your hair: All you need to know. Site Blocked In order to access website you need to accept our cookie policy. I trusted her because she was like a sister. The letters continued on a daily basis for two years.


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I saved each letter and sent the loan company a cease and desist order to stop the letters because my mother was beginning to become suspicious. The letters stopped, but I had this overwhelming feeling I was screwed.

Are best-friend partners better partners?

The loan company called me daily, during all hours and it began to disrupt my sessions with clients. Danielle continued to deny any wrongdoing, but something felt wrong. I felt like I was watching a ball fly toward my face, I was tense and aware yet completely helpless and bracing myself for the pain. Danielle and Evan were in love. A mutual friend of Danielle and I began to notice that whenever me and Evan caught up over happy hour or decided to hangout, Danielle posted passive-aggressive social media statuses stating people need to learn boundaries and never trust a woman.

Dear Straight Up! My Best Friends are Dating and I Feel Like a Third Wheel

It went on this way for months. I finally confronted Danielle and she denied it all.

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Still I could not but help to feel as if I was falling without a parachute and the ground was getting closer. I called the loan company and debated a payment history which they stated could not be provided via the phone, but they could provide the payment history via mail.

How to deal with your best friends dating each other

Three days later, I learned Danielle lied about it all. It felt like I ran into a wall. It was devastating, but I thought I could fix this. My ability to be loyal and hopeful was, and always has been my downfall. I emailed Danielle who is a conflict-avoidant individual similar to myself, and I was positive that we could fix this.

I was so wrong. Danielle laid into me with accusations of visiting Evan sporadically and calling at all hours of night.

Danielle insisted I was selfish, lying, and downright awful. I searched for all the words to fix it, but I could only find dull rage. Somehow I managed to apologize for the inconsideration which I owned. Eventually Danielle stopped responding to calls, texts, and emails.


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  8. Evan vanished with Danielle without a word. I felt like the world came to a halt.