The Art of Multi-Dating

I was counseling a young woman when I used to do Christian counseling. She was just graduating from college and she had two other sisters that were married right out of college. One sister was pregnant and the other had two children.

Dating More Than One Guy At A Time: 6 Concerns You Should Really Think About | Thought Catalog

Now that my client the woman I was counseling was graduating college her parents wanted her to get married too. And this terrified her. She did not want to get married so young, she did not want to settle down, she did not even know what type of man she liked, she wanted to explore life and enjoy being young, she was NOT ready to have children, AND the life that she saw her two married sisters have she HATED. She did not want to turn into a housewife.

What she did want is to get to know men. Because she grew up in a strict Christian household, she had never really even talked to them. She also wanted to find out what she was looking for in a man, find out what she liked, to go out a on a few dates, and figure out what she wanted for HER LIFE.

Dating More Than One Guy At A Time: 6 Concerns You Should Really Think About

She did not just want to jump into some courting situation with some guy and then marry him 10 months from now. I wrote a previous blog on why dating is not a relationship which you can click here to read. Just because you choose to go out on a date with someone that is exactly what it is. Agreeing to go somewhere with someone so that you can get to know them and see if it can form into a relationship.

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Often times it requires dating a man for several months before you can really figure out if you like this person or if you want to enter into a relationship with this person. The reason why it is okay to date more than one guy because there are really no strings attached to going out on a date. When you are dating a guy, it would be a huge expectation for you to just give up any other men that you may want to go out on a date with, all for the hope that the person that you are going out on a date with MAY be the one. Dating more than one guy is okay because you are not in a relationship, no one is committed to anyone.

So do not put more weight or expectations on a date then what needs to be there. In fact it is safe to say that the men you are dating are more than likely dating other women. Not because they are cheaters but because like I said above. Just because he ask you out on a date, you cannot expect him to let go of every other women that he may be interested in just to go out on a date with you. That will protect you from getting your feelings hurt if after a few weeks of dating he tells you that you are just not it or you find out that he is just not it.

When or if after you two are dating and he wants a relationship with you, this is a conversation that will be had. He will enter into an exclusive relationship with you meaning that you are his girlfriend and he is your boyfriend.

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  • That is the point where it is NOT okay to date someone else. How many times do women go out with a man and on the first few dates they are sitting around planning their wedding in their head? That is because they are falling into infatuation and they are not looking at their date objectively, because that one man is the only option they have so they try to make the ONE man they are dating into the one.

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    Also check out my blog on love, lust, and infatuation. Because if this one man they are dating is NOT the one, then they have to start over and try to date someone else. So it is easier to have tunnel vision and overlook all the flaws a man may have when you are dating him because in your heart you really want this one guy to be it. When you are dating more than one man you can remain more objective. See which one you like more and it keeps you from falling head over heels for a man just because he is there and you feel like you have no other options.

    Dating more than one person at a time

    How can you ever know what you like or how you like to be treated on a date if you do not have anything to compare it to? Remember the woman that I mentioned in the beginning that was counseling, this was her main concern. That she would start dating one man, marry him, and then found out that she did not like him because she did not have anyone else to compare it to. Not her family and not her friends. She adds if you are starting to confuse names or details about the person, study their profiles or your previous conversation before you meet them.

    The last thing you want to do is confuse your date with someone else. You should avoid logging onto dating apps or browsing other potentials after making this decision. Meat lovers, vegetarians and vegans — can people with different eating habits date? Please read our Commenting Policy first. January 4, 6: January 4, 8: Get daily local headlines and alerts. Crown mistakenly exposed police informant, killing massive B.

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